In our leadership-frenzied Christian culture, I've opted for a different label for leadership.
That label is influence.
Despite
the unhealthy love-affair that
countless Christians have with "leadership" and being "a leader," the
truth is, if you're a follower of Jesus Christ, you're an influencer.
Your influence may be large or small, it may be good or bad, but it exists.
In
this UNFILTERED update, I want to address two types of influencers in
the body of Christ. And I'd like to do so by using an experience I had
many years ago
with two very different kinds of leaders.
At
the time, both had considerable influence. But in terms of their
character and leadership-style, they were light years apart. And so each
influencer represents two very different kinds of leadership with
drastically different results.
Influencer 1
The
first
leader was a gifted speaker and writer. He held a PhD in charm. And
when he was at the top of his game, he was unparalleled in articulating
certain topics about which he was passionate.
As
with most gifted communicators, whenever he spoke in public, one part
of the audience would descend into a "take his head off" feeding frenzy,
while others who would hardly squirm, never once reaching for their
smart
phones.
However,
this influencer suffered from a piercing narcissism to which he was
completely blind. And as with most narcissistic types, he became easily
jealous of others who were as gifted - or more gifted -- than he.
Even during his public talks, his megalomania would betray itself as he'd wax eloquent about himself and his
accomplishments.
Despite
his outward warmness, he viewed other mortals as projects to advance
his own ministry rather than people made in God's image. He had no
capacity to accept advice from others, even when it would have spared
him lots of failure and frustration.
While
he would speak compellingly about brokenness and humility, he was
routinely threatened by the popularity
of others. Notoriously vain and monstrously insecure, he'd often engage
in petty back-biting, school-yard belittling, and even slander, all to
compensate for his insecurities. He'd routinely bad mouth others just to
work off his own demons.
These character defects made him toxic.
Because
he never dealt with the insecurities that possessed his soul, he
routinely projected the
darkest parts of his heart onto others, recklessly (and wrongly)
imputing evil motives to them. He was also quick to blame other people
for his own failures.
Today,
this man's ministry has shriveled down to nothing. Virtually all the
people who once supported him bailed out long ago. He burned through
secretaries, co-workers, donors, and friends like most of us go through
pistachio nuts. His tissues of lies eventually shredded all
around him.
His life was a study in self-sabotage.
To
my knowledge, he's never come to terms with the damage he's brought to
so many. Nor has he ever repented and apologized to those he hurt.
Instead, he appears to remain fixated on his own legacy, whatever is
left of it.
The tragedy here is that the vision for his
life was struck down by his own hand. When his ship came in (and it did several times), he was found waiting at the airport.
A prominent Yankee once described the late Billy Martin (former manager of the Yanks) this way,
"Billy
Martin is one of the most complex people I've ever met. Billy really is
a funny guy. He's nice,
he's mean. He's good and bad. He's kind and he's cruel. He's done some
intelligent things and he's done some dumb things. He would be an
absolutely fascinating character study for someone who knows a lot more
about psychology than I do. There were times when he was as nice to me
as a man could be, and there were times when he went as far as out of
his way as possible to hurt me as a ball player and as a man. He's said
complimentary things about me. He's said a ton of negative things. The
many
faces of Billy Martin."
This
description fits the influencer I just described like a glove. But
unlike Billy Martin, who had thousands of people show up at his funeral,
unless Influencer 1 repents and apologizes to the countless people he's
hurt, his funeral will be attended by a small cluster of true believers
and his legacy will be rapidly forgotten.
What a man builds with his gifts, he can just as quickly destroy by his character.
Infuencer 2
The second influencer was the smartest man I've ever met. Yet one of the most humble.
He
possessed amazing wit, impressing everyone he met. Especially people in
ministry,
including Bible scholars and theologians who held more degrees than a
thermometer. Down to the man or woman, they would all walk away awed
after a conversation with him.
Whenever he spoke, he held people spellbound. (This includes people like me, who has a toddler-like attention span.)
People left his presence enriched, encouraged, and inspired. (Taking my cue from this man,
I strive to do the same.)
I
learned more from him than anyone else. Yet despite his incredible
gifting, he was more interested in others than in himself . Their lives,
their heartaches, their joys, and their pain. Unselfishly, he made
himself available to listen to them -- even for hours -- and offer
encouragement and wise counsel.
This
leader also had an uncanny ability to
validate people, even the most difficult. I watched him deal with
high-maintenance befuddled souls and he'd instinctively disarm their
anger and emotional turbulence.
He
knew how to throw a blanket of calm over smoldering fires. His quick
wit and ability to use humor to disarm people in turmoil was profoundly
impressive. And I credit him for teaching me how to employ this same
skill.
This
particular man didn't think much about his legacy. He lived in the
present, and his lived-example was an example to others. Myself
included.
As
to having a robust knowledge of the Lord, the Scriptures, and history,
he was without peer. And so was his gift to unpack lofty insights into
simple language.
He existed to serve, not to show
off.
He existed to inform, not impress.
He existed to do good, not look good.
He existed to make a difference, not a name or a legacy.
Recap
Two influencers. Two very different
characters and styles. Two very different results.
The
first leader had an unchecked ego. As a result, he has virtually no
influence today, except for a small handful of fawning sycophants who
don't know him very well.
The
other leader still emits the fragrance of Jesus to all who come in
contact with him. And even though I've never once heard him talk about
his legacy, it
lives on in myself and others whom he touched.
10 Take Aways
Here
are ten take-aways I learned from observing both influencers. Since
each one of you has influence in this world, I hope you'll seek to build
each lesson into your own life.
1. Know your own limitations.
The body of
Christ has many functions and gifts. You don't have them all. So learn
to rely on others who excel in those areas that you don't. And lay down
your need for control. Delegate.
2. People aren't projects or stepping stones to advance your own ministry.
Learn to love and honor others for their own sake. As Paul said in
Philippians 2, look out for their interests. Great leaders want others
to supersede them. Insecure leaders can't
release the limelight.
3. Always have peers -- people who can speak into your life.
If you consider yourself too "gifted" to have peers, you're living in a
dream world. One that will eventually become a nightmare. It won't be
long before the rope runs out. The first leader refused to have peers in
his life. The second welcomed them.
4. Never judge the motives of
others. While you are free to evaluate the actions and ideas of
other people, imputing motives to their hearts only reveals what's in
your own.
5. Be quick to apologize if you've wronged someone.
Great leaders apologize to people even when it's not entirely their
fault. Mending relationships (wherever possible) is more important to
them than being right. They consistently take the high road, not just
preach about
it.
6. Major in Matthew 7:12.
If you don't know what that text is, go read it and tattoo it on your
forehead (spiritually, that is). The first leader believed the worst
about others. The second leader would never speak ill of another
believer. If he heard something negative about a fellow Christian, he
dismissed it. If he was concerned, he'd go to the person who was
gossiped about directly to inquire -- the same thing all of
us would want if the shoe was sitting on our foot. So learn to live
Matthew 7:12 in all situations. It's a description of the life of Jesus
Christ when walked out in shoe leather.
7. People will follow your way of life more than your words, for better or for worse.
The first leader's followers carved themselves into his image. They
followed what he did, not so much what he said. Consequently, they were
petty, insecure,
judged the motives of others, become easily jealous, were given to
one-upmanship and humiliating others, and trafficked in believing and
spreading slander. Never forget: people will follow your bad traits more
than your good ones.
8. Own your mistakes and don't blame God's people.
The first leader was quick to blame his failing ministry on everyone
else. Blaming others and guilt-tripping them is the mark of a poor
leader. Good
leaders acknowledge their mistakes and take responsibility.
9. Don't overpromise and under-deliver. The
first leader would often share impressive ideas, plans, and goals. He
was superb at bluster. But he'd rarely follow through to the end, which
eroded trust and respect. Never say things just to impress people. Make
good on what you promise. Deliver.
10. Forget
about leading others; make serving them your business. The first
leader was more interested in leading than serving. The second leader
never talked about "leadership" nor did he seem to view himself as a
"leader." He was too occupied with serving. So bury your penchant for
wanting to lead, and excel at serving.
How to Connect with Leaders Like Influencer 1
We
live in what some have called "the connection economy." There's
tremendous value in connecting with like-minded and like-hearted people.
The trick is how to find them.
Jim
Rohn wisely said that you're the average of the five people you spend
the most time with. Proverbs says that he/she who spends time with the
wise shall be wise.
Stay tuned for my next update in 2 weeks.
fv
Psalm
115:1
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Gainesville Florida 32614
USA
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