Why You Should Read More Books & How You Can Do So Quickly

FrankViolaBlog - Why You Should Read More Books & How You Can Do So Quickly

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Why You Should Read More Books & How You Can Do So Quickly

Posted: 20 Aug 2015 05:24 AM PDT

Most of you are influencers of some sort. Many are pastors, teachers, authors, bloggers, professors, and people who are involved in some kind of ministry. (So says this year’s blog survey,)

Recently, I caught up with Dave Frederick – a Vineyard pastor and President of Leaders Book Summaries – to ask him about why it’s critical for those who have influence to read many books. Here’s the interview along with a free perk at the end for my subscribers.

Why is it important for those who influence others to read many books?

Dave Frederick: If you want to influence or lead other people, you have to keep learning and growing. You can’t really lead people beyond where you are yourself. Reading allows you to benefit from other’s experiences and grow in wisdom without having to recreate the wheel every time. And it’s a great way to gain information that you need to help yourself, and others, move forward. None of us knows all we need to; the most effective leaders keep investing in their own growth so they have more to pass on.

What would you say to a leader who says, “I don’t read any books except the Bible?”

Dave Frederick: I would say, “That sounds very spiritual! But I don’t think it is either biblical or wise.” Paul didn’t live that way. He asked Timothy to bring “the scrolls, especially the parchments” (II Timothy 4:13) which would have been reading material, and he was familiar with writers of different cultures—he quoted them at times when he preached. Also, Proverbs is clear that we should pursue wisdom, and reading is one of the best ways to do that. As far as I can see, the most effective, impactful spiritual leaders throughout history have all been readers. You would be hard-pressed to find any that didn’t read the Bible and other material as well.

How does Leaders Book Summaries help busy people to read more books?

Dave Frederick: It’s really just simple math. A typical person will take 4-6 hours to read a full book. They will take 15-20 minutes to read a summary, and they will still get all the key information. Interestingly, a Carnegie-Mellon study found that people who read good summaries often retain more of what they read than those who read the whole book. I don’t think the goal is just to read more—although summaries enable you to do that—but rather to learn more. And reading summaries helps you do that as well.

What if a person says, “I want to read more books, but I’m not a leader.” What is your response?

Dave Frederick: So what? Reading, learning, growing—those things are for everyone. If you want to become a leader, reading is a great way to invest in yourself, but even if you don’t, hopefully you still want to become all you can be—and the wisdom you can gain from reading will serve you well.

What are some of the most popular books you’ve featured in summary form?

Dave Frederick: That’s a hard one! We summarize all the current top leadership books, and try to make sure that we get all the older classics as well. It’s probably easier to talk about popular authors: John Maxwell, Andy Stanley, Henry Cloud, Patrick Lencioni, Larry Osborne, the Heath brothers, Kouzes & Posner, Bill Hybels, and so many more—if they are writing good material, we try to summarize it. We want to get the best material out there into people’s hands. If you go to the website, you can actually see all the books we have summarized.

What has the response been to Leaders Book Summaries?

Dave Frederick: Overwhelming! We have had thousands of people sign up. Many churches have gotten subscriptions for all of their leaders. The truth is, no one is out there wondering what to do with all of their extra time! So having a way to invest in yourself and grow, without having to spend hours and hours, really addresses a felt need.

How can people join to check it out and is there a cost?

Dave Frederick: You can go to the website (studyleadership.com) and sign up. We have month-to-month and annual subscriptions—all the costs are outlined there. Or, you can just click this link—we are offering your readers a free first month so they can check out the service with no risk. You can’t get that through the normal website, you have to use the link.

Is there anything else that you do besides the summaries?

Dave Frederick: Yes! This year we have added a new service we call LeadersTips. These are short, 2-3 minute videos that cover one specific tip for leaders—one specific idea or insight that will help you become a better leader. We do one per week, and they are free to our subscribers. It’s just another way to serve people.

Any final comments?

Dave Frederick:  Our goal is simple: we want to help people become who they are called to be and do what they are called to do. That’s what we are called to do. Both the summaries and the videos serve that purpose. As God’s leaders step into their identity and develop their skills, I think the church, and the world, will be affected. It’s exciting to me that we get to play a small part in helping that happen.

Check out studyleadership.com

John Fenn, Self-centered/Rightness #2 (Why Healing)

Hi all,

Shortly after the USSR fell apart, I led a team to the city of Ekaterinburg, a city of over 1 million people sitting astride the Ural Mountains over 1,000 miles (1600km) east of Moscow, to help start a church. Over the course of the week we went to the main train and bus station to hand out advertisement about the meetings where I would be sharing the gospel. Those were innocent days that were too short-lived. 

 

Their sudden exposure to the west brought confusion concerning fashions and a desperate effort to catch up. Having no context to set the decades of western styles in proper order, people would often wear clothing from various decades all at once: One man was wearing bell bottom jeans from the late 1960's with a pastel linen jacket from the early 1980's "Miami Vice" era (US TV show) topped by a baseball cap with an American team's emblem on it. One young woman was wearing a 1960's mini-skirt with old work boots and a woman's jacket from a polyester pants suit and had the big hair style of the 1980's.

 

It was all very sweet and innocent, and I was deeply touched by the hearts of the Russian people and their rich culture. I baptized about 400 people who had believed on the Lord that week and cherish those days.

 

Tzedakah

I've been talking about the Jewish understanding of righteousness, tzedakah in Hebrew, because tzedakah says if a person has right standing before God they will live that rightness in a flow outward to their fellow man. Church culture teaches right standing with God, while leaving off the (horizontal) flow to our neighbor.

 

But, if all we understand is the vertical, we can be like the crowd at the bus station where no one had the context to understand how each decade of style fit together. They could not be sure what to identify themselves with, and I see many Christians like that. Whe have Christians wearing 'streams of the faith' styles from many decades all together, having no context to establish to Whom they belong, therefore they seek an identity with some movement to prove their walk with God.

 

Someone may clothe themselves with the intercessor movement of the 1990's like a jacket, while wearing doctrinal shoes ready to walk through the Tribulation, with spiritual pants trying to relive the Toronto blessing. Or, they can wear the 'pre-tribulation rapture' hat with the inner healing coat and have their feet shod with the cowboy boots of simple church. But no matter the 'spiritual clothing' they cover themselves with for others to see, it is still all about them and their lives in a self-centered faith.

 

Why Jesus healed

Jesus' life in the gospels was living tzedakah as a flow of being right before the Father, and therefore He did healings and miracles as evidence of His righteousness - not just to prove who He was, - but as evidence His life was righteous and what He said about the Father was right and people could therefore believe in Him.

 

Acts 10:38 says "...How God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and with power

(vertical), who went about doing good and healing (horizontal) all that were oppressed of the devil."

 

Today the fact Jesus was anointed with the Holy Spirit and power and went about doing good is lost on us. Many want to have a greater anointing which they equate with a personal breakthrough or answered prayer or bigger ministry, but no one ever says they wanted to be anointed as Jesus was, to go about doing good.

 

Jesus did not go about 'doing good' trying to brand Himself as the newest product from heaven, He went about doing good because He IS good. And so is the Father. When He said He is meek and lowly in heart, He was telling the truth. He is meek and lowly because the Father is first meek and lowly.

 

When He turned water into wine He didn't advertise the fact but let the groom and bride receive the honor. Did you get that? Jesus though the Son of God in the flesh, allowed an unamed bride & groom receive the credit and honor for the wine. Sometimes He would tell people not to tell anyone when He healed them. Those are His values. That is His humility. That is how He expressed tzedakah - righteousness.

 

In John 9 we have the healing of a man born blind that illustrates the Jewish understanding of righteousness being vertical AND horizontal. The man is brought before the rulers who had already stated in v24 they believed Jesus was a sinner. The blind man answered in v30-33 with his statement of tzedakah:

 

"Now we know that God doesn't hear sinners, but if any man is a worshipper of God AND does His will, him will He hear. Since the beginning of the world it has not been heard that any man has opened the eyes of one born blind. So if this man were not of God, He could do nothing." 

 

Why have we been given the name of Jesus?

Healing and the things of the Spirit therefore aren't side-show attractions at the Christian Carnival, with people gathering to see a leg grow out or go to a meeting to see the latest 'manifestation' where God allegedly turns people into blathering idiots, causes them to bark like a dog, or shake like a leaf in the wind.

 

NO! Healing is part of God the Father's own tzedakah (right-ness), that He pours out to us because He is righteous. And in the flow of living water from the throne from Him through us*, that righteousness is to be demonstrated and proven by healing acts of love towards our fellow man! *Revelation 22:1; John 7:38-39

 

Last week I was on a flight after visiting the Seattle/Vancouver Island/Vancouver areas. When I was seated I noticed the flight attendant holding her finger to her left ear. She kept rubbing her left ear, and I asked the Father if He wanted to heal her as clearly something was wrong. When I got the chance I asked if she was okay, and she said when the cabin door had opened after the previous flight there was a jet next to them that started its engines at that moment, and the sudden loud noise made her deaf in that ear.

 

I started to offer to lay hands on her but she dismissed my concern before I could ask outright to lay hands on her, quickly turning away to attend to preparations for take off. So I prayed this, "Father, I know every good and perfect gift comes down from you to us, and she is just doing her job and sustained this injury, would you touch her and heal her out of your mercy and because I'm asking you to?"

 

About 10 minutes later she walked down the aisle past me and I asked how she was doing, and she said, "It went back to normal just like that! Thanks for asking"...and I smiled in my heart at the Father's goodness, and the expression of tzedakah I was able to be part of.  

 

Today we have 'healing evangelists' who make a great show of what they do. Today we have people who run to this meeting and that looking for the spectacular, thinking that is supernatural. Today we have people flocking to 'revival centers' where they think God is concentrating His presence, so they pick up their ear plugs at the door for what is called 'worship', and wait to see who will flop, shake, rattle and roll as a sign God is in their midst. And He graciously does what He can to meet people where they are, but there is a better and higher way...

 

We have been given the name of Jesus not to make a show, but to change people's lives where they live, as discreetly as Jesus turned water into wine and kept quiet*, as nonchalantly as miraculously reattaching Malchus' ear* after Peter had cut it off, as graciously as healing Peter's mother in law so she could attend to her guests.* What we find in house church is that most of the gifts of the Spirit operate outside the meetings, in day-to-day life, just as we see in Matthew through Acts. It is a Biblical understanding - God lives in people, not in temples made with hands* and it is within those relationships tzedakah is best demonstrated. (John 2, Luke 22:50-51, Mark 1:30-31, Acts 17:24)

 

Let us remove the 'spiritual clothing' from the various streams which cause us to be self-focused, and start living our right-standing with the Father as He intended, in a flow outward in tzedakah (righteousness) alleging and proving He is good and Jesus is His Son, with evidence to support those claims by our own lives, and the good He does through us.

 

Next week; Understanding marriage/divorce/adultery/remarriage in tzedakah

 

    Blessings,

        John Fenn

www.cwowi.org and email me at cwowi@aol.com

 

 

 

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What Jesus Taught Me About Holiness

Based on a 50 minute visitation with the Lord and unlocking key elements in the Word, this teaching totally upended all John thought he knew about holiness, and it changed his life. Most people think holiness is a sect involving long hair and dresses, no make up, and a generally bland life, but in fact it is simple and core to our being. Rather than rules and regulations, understanding holiness is actually the key to walking in love and learning to live from the inside out. (2 cd/MP3, $12/set or MP3 $10)

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What to Do If Your Small Group Is Too Big

By Rick Howerton

Determining when a small group is too big is not as easy as it may seem.

Sometimes a leader bites off more than they can chew. But, determining when a small group is too big is not as easy as it may seem. If a group leader’s goal is to see spiritual transformation in the life of every person in the group, there are some signs that should tell a group leader the group is too big.

1. When a small group member can come to the meetings, remain silent, never telling their story or engaging in the conversation, and this goes unnoticed, the group may be too big. Bottom line… when a group member can remain anonymous, the group is too big.
2. When the small group leader gives their time to hosting the committee that oversees the work of the group rather than nurturing each group member the group may be too big. Bottom line… When a group becomes an organization it is no longer a group and the role of the leader changes from shepherd to committee chairperson.
3. When the shepherd of the group, the small group leader, is unable to nurture, protect, and care for each member of the group the group is probably too big. Bottom line… Shepherds can only shepherd so many sheep and when the group is too big , there are too many sheep for one shepherd.
4. When group members miss the meeting and no one notices or no one really cares. Bottom line… Because the group is too large, the group dynamic has changed from a small group dynamic to a large group dynamic. A large group dynamic isn’t affected deeply when just one or two are missing. 

The next obvious question is, “What should I do if I realize my group is too big?” There are some good options.

1. Conclude who in the group is capable of leading a group of their own, ask them to do that, and start multiple groups from your one group.
2. Continue to meet as a large group and subgroup into groups of less than eight each week for discussions, accountability, and prayer time. I would suggest you do this via gender. That is, men with men, women with women.
3. Talk with your small group pastor, see what they believe would be the best thing you could do to aid in furthering the small group ministry of your church.
4. If God is at work, everyone is attending regularly, you as a leader are able to carry the load, everyone is participating, and life transformation is occurring, you may want to consider doing nothing. Sometimes God does amazing things spite of the fact that the group is doing things contradictory to the criterion created by small group experts. If all that you long to see take place in the lives of your group members is occurring, continue to do what you’re doing. God often works in ways and settings that astound all of us.

Rick has one passion… To see “a biblical small group within walking distance of every person on the planet making disciples that make disciples.” He is presently pursuing this passion as the Small Group and Discipleship Specialist at LifeWay Church Resources. Rick has authored or co-authored multiple books, studies, and leader training resources including A Different Kind of Tribe: Embracing the New Small Group Dynamic, Destination Community: Small Group Ministry Manual, The Gospel and the Truth: Living the Message of Jesus, Small Group Life Ministry Manual: A New Approach to Small Groups, Redeeming the Tears: a Journey Through Grief and Loss, Small Group Life: Kingdom, Small Group Kickoff Retreat: Experiential Training for Small Group Leaders, and Great Beginnings: Your First Small Group Study, Disciples Path: A Practical Guide to Disciple Making. Rick’s varied ministry experiences as an collegiate minister, small group pastor, teaching pastor, elder, full-time trainer and church consultant, as well as having been a successful church planter gives him a perspective of church life that is all-encompassing and multi-dimensional. Rick is a highly sought after communicator and trainer. More from Rick Howerton or visit Rick at https://rickhowerton.wordpress.com

8 Principles in Seeking Spiritual Accountability

By Ben Reed

If you want accountability, you’ve got to take that responsibility on yourself.

If you want accountability in your life, you’ve got to take responsibility.

Nobody will do that for you.  Others can pour into you, teach you, model for you, and share resources with you.  But if you want accountability, you’ve got to take that responsibility on yourself.  I’ve asked people to help me with certain aspects of my spiritual life.  Sometimes it’s “worked.”  Many times, it hasn’t.  But I’ve learned some principles along the way that have helped ensure success.

8 principles in seeking spiritual accountability

1. Ask for it.

If you don’t ask, nobody will respond.  You need these deep relationships that help you with your personal spiritual growth.

2. Help define what it needs to look like.

Don’t just assume that if you ask someone, they’ll instantly know what accountability needs to look like for you.  You have to help set the paramaters.  How often?  What will you talk about?  What questions should they ask you?

3. Be vulnerable and share your story.

Otherwise, how can someone else help?  If they don’t know who you are, where you’ve been, and the weak spots in your life, they’ll have no idea how to help you grow.

4. Take a risk.

You’ll never know if the person on the other end, that you’re asking to step into that relationship with you, is 100% trustworthy.  This is  a step of faith, not a step of pre-knowledge.

5. Remember that accountability is a two-way street.

This isn’t a cure-all solution.  You’ve got to be doing the difficult task of working on yourself and your own shortcomings.  Having someone “hold you accountable” doesn’t assure you’re accountable.  You’ve got to continue to actively pursue that relationship, and be open and honest with where you are at all along the way.

6. Give the other person the room to say, “No.”

This is a big responsibility that you’re asking someone to.  Give them the freedom to say that this is not the right season for them.  Forced accountability rarely works.  Both parties have to be willing to step in and do the hard work.

7. You have to continue to drive the relationship.

Don’t expect that you can ask once, share your story, and the other person will then magically follow up with you exactly when you need it.  You’re the one asking for accountability.  You need to be the one driving this relationship.

8. Ask for grace.

Since accountability isn’t a cure-all, there’s a good chance you’ll mess up again.  In a big way.  And this is where many “accountability partners” fall apart.  If you’ve messed up, you think, “I can’t possibly be honest about this with him now.”  And he’ll think, “I guess I’ve failed at holding him accountable.”  What needs to happen is what happened in the beginning: grace.  Set out from the beginning this idea that if failure happens, grace is the knee-jerk response.
You need someone to spur you on. (Hebrews 10:24) You’re too weak on your own to fight sin, insecurities, and the battles that rage against you doing what God’s calling you to do.  You need someone who’s got your back.  You need someone who is going to encourage you on the good days and the bad.  You need a warrior who won’t give up on you, who knows where you’re headed, and is willing to walk through the dark and the light to help you get there.

So encourage each other and build each other up – 1 Thessalonians 5:11

Do you have someone who’s intentionally encouraging you and helping hold you accountable?
Have you seen this kind of relationship misused?  Where one (or both) parties expected too much?

Ben Reed is the small groups pastor at Long Hollow, a multi-site church in the Nashville, TN, area. He holds an Mdiv from Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. Ben is also an avid coffee drinker and CrossFitter, but not at the same time. Catch up with Ben at BenReed.net. In his book, "Starting Small: The Ultimate Small Group Blueprint," he helps leaders through the process of putting a small group ministry together and creating a place where people belong so they can become. More from Ben Reed or visit Ben at http://www.BenReed.net/

Lean, accountable, transparent

Lean, accountable, transparent
August 22, 2014  

These are our financial values in LK10...

Lean.  We've trained over 2500 people in 9 countries but there is only one paid staff. That's me (John White). We have lots of great volunteers! The only office is a desk in my basement.  The only office equipment is my laptop. 

Accountable.  I meet with the LK10 Board two to three times a year.  They oversee the ministry and approve the Budget.  You can ask them any questions you want. I meet with Kent Smith smithpk@acu.edu (President of the Board) and Jordan Bunch jordanbunch@gmail.com member of the Board) every week.  You can ask them any questions you want.

Transparent.  Click here to go to our blog and see our current Budget.  We want you to know what your giving goes to.

We need your help! Our current Budget is underfunded by $1795 per month.  Please pray about partnering with us by making a monthly commitment to LK10.  (See the column to the right for directions on how you can do this.)

Thank you!

Monthly Budget:  $5285
Current Monthly Amount Pledged:  $3490
Monthly Deficit:  $1795

Please pray about partnering with us to fully fund the LK10 Budget.  (Note:  up to now we have been able to meet the budget because of monthly giving plus a couple of large one time gifts.  The Board has set a goal of meeting the budget through the regular monthly contributions.)

Why are Christians carnal?

Hey Dave and church,


I was sitting on the front porch the other day, praying and pondering.

And the thought came to me:

"Why are Christians carnal?"

I mean, think about it...

Pretend like you're living in Israel during the period of time before Christ.

And you're thinking, "Wow, people around here are so carnal. We have the laws of God but we don't follow them. We know what to do but we don't do it."

This bothers you, so you go to the prophet Ezekiel and ask him.

"Why is it so hard to obey God? Why does He give us commandments that He knows we won't keep? It's all very frustrating."

Ezekiel nods his head knowingly.

Then he lays his hands on you and begins to prophesy:

"Hear what the Lord says: A new heart will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you a heart of flesh. And I will put My Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My judgments, and do them."

And you're thinking, "Wow! That's the answer! If God can really change our hearts, and if He would really be willing to put His Spirit WITHIN us, then we would have the power of His Spirit to walk in victory and holiness!"

You eagerly wait for that day and you die waiting for it, because the promise is for a future time.

So fast forward a few centuries...

Jesus is born, lives, dies, and lives again.

The Holy Spirit is poured out on the day of Pentecost, and the disciples are filled with the Holy Spirit, just as Ezekiel prophesied.

And wherever the word of Jesus is proclaimed, God confirms the message by pouring out His Spirit upon these believers.

Problem solved, right?

Everyone lives holy ever after, right?

Wrong.

Paul writes to the Spirit-filled believers in Corinth and says, "You've got the spiritual gifts, but you are STILL CARNAL... NATURAL... FLESHLY... EARTHLY."

Ouch.

What a disappointment.

I thought once God came to live INSIDE a person then they would be set for life!

What happened in Corinth?

What happened to us?

What happened to me?

Because I'm filled with the Spirit, like many of you.

And yet, I struggle with stupid stuff I shouldn't be struggling with, like many of you.

What's the problem?

Then I realized...

Being "filled" or "baptized" with the Holy Spirit is only the first part of a journey that takes us from immaturity to maturity.

It's not the top of the mountain, it's the beginning of a path up the mountain.

We don't go from carnal to spiritual in one fell swoop.

And if you thought "getting the Spirit" would suddenly transform you into Superman or Superwoman then you were misled.

In fact, I've identified seven Scriptural "stages" one passes through on this journey from being carnal to being spiritual.

You won't hear this being touch in "Spirit-filled" churches.

Most people get stuck at Stage Two, or they want to skip from Stage Two to Stage Five - and once they get to that point, they know it all and you can't teach them anything.

But this not only explains why the Corinthians could be Spirit-filled and still be carnal...

It also explains why this keeps happening today.

To me, to you.

And it will continued to stunt our growth if we don't understand what God is doing and start cooperating with Him.

This article explains it all:
http://theschoolofchrist.org/blog/his-government.html




I am your brother,

Chip Brogden
http://TheSchoolOfChrist.Org

5 Really Bad Reasons to Leave Your Church

By Aaron Loy

If you’re thinking about looking for a new church home, please don’t use one of these five reasons to make the jump.

Let’s be honest, while there are some good reasons for leaving a church, there are a lot more bad ones. As a pastor, I hear some of them every now and then as people walk out the door. As a church planter, I hear them constantly as people walk in the door. If you’re thinking about looking for a new church home, please don’t use one of these five reasons to make the jump:

1. “I’m not being fed.”
Do pastors have a responsibility to steward the scriptures and care for their church spiritually? You bet they do. And it can be all too easy to overlook this while trying to manage staff, build systems, meet needs, put out fires, develop leaders, all while overseeing the overall vision and direction of the church. But let’s be honest, if you own a smartphone, a personal computer or a library card, you have access to some of the best preaching and teaching in the world. Shoot, you can even find teaching archives of some of the greatest preachers of all time. Christian, you have access to more “meat” than any other generation before you!
To leave a church because you’re not getting enough substance is a cop out. Your primary call in the church is to contribute, not just to consume. As a Christian, you shouldn’t require spoon-feeding for the rest of your life. Eventually you need to learn how to feed yourself so that in time you can actually feed others. Remember your call is not just to be a disciple but to make disciples.
2. “It’s getting too big.”
I can appreciate the sense of loss that accompanies growth. When we first began, our church was little more than a small band of brothers and sisters meeting together in a living room. It feels very different now that we are a church of a few hundred people spread across multiple services. There are moments when I miss the intimacy and simplicity of those early days. But remaining small is a sad and unbiblical goal.
When churches are faithful to the Great Commission lives will be changed and people will be added to their number. It may not happen rapidly, but on a long enough timeline, growth is inevitable in churches that are faithful. If you have a problem with big churches, you really wouldn’t have liked the first church and you definitely won’t like heaven. To be frank, if you have a problem with the inevitable growth that happens when lives are changed by the gospel, you have some serious repenting to do.
3. “I don’t agree with everything that is being preached.”
You know what? Neither do I and I’m the pastor. As such, I fully reserve the right to disagree with myself. And every now and then I do exactly that. Why? Because I’m learning. I’m growing. I’m asking questions. And my hope is that those I pastor are doing likewise.
If you insist that your pastor agree with you on every little thing under the sun, you are going to either hop from church to church for the rest of your life in perpetual disappointment, or you will eventually give up and drop out altogether. Chances are you are not going to agree with everything that is preached anywhere. As long as your pastor isn’t preaching outright heresy, you can afford to disagree on secondary issues. The truth is when you choose to stay despite disagreeing on some things, you, your pastor and your church are better for it.
4. “My Needs Aren’t Being Met.”
When someone lists this as a reason for leaving, it is a dead giveaway that somewhere along the way they came to believe that the church actually exists to serve their needs. They’ve bought into the lie that when it comes to church it’s really about “me.” Here’s the problem: The church actually isn’t about you. It’s about Jesus. It’s his church. He came for it. He died for it. He redeemed it. He continues to build it. And one day, he’ll come back for it. It’s his.
This is the same Jesus who came to seek and to save the lost and then commissioned his church to go and do the same. The church doesn’t exist to meet your needs. You are a part of the church that exists to meet the needs of the world. So put away the shopping cart and pick up a shovel.
5. Unresolved Conflict.
Wherever you find the community of sinning saints you will find conflict. Lots of it. The church is one big family full of characters and misfits. Sometimes sisters argue. Sometimes brothers fight. Sometimes you want to bury your weird uncle in the backyard. But despite it all, family is supposed to be the place where you stick together. Even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard.
Paul addressed a lot of church conflict in his letters. Nowhere do I hear him encouraging believers to bail on one another or move on down the road to a different church where it’ll be easier. Instead, much of his letters are his encouraging and coaching these ragamuffin communities in how to do this very hard and messy thing together. When we leave at first sign of real conflict, it shortchanges God’s best work in our midst. It sidesteps the process of repentance, forgiveness and grace. It negates the power of the gospel to bring reconciliation where reconciliation might seem impossible. We and those around us miss out on all of it when we just leave.
I do know that not all conflict is resolvable. I know that reconciliation is impossible where there is no repentance. I get that. But remember, repentance starts with us. And so does the extending of grace. And when we resolve to stick around and keep on repenting and extending grace, I think God can do far more than we often give Him credit for. Some of God’s best work happens in the mess.
So what about you? Do you agree? Disagree? What bad reasons for leaving your church am I missing? 

I am a follower of Jesus, a husband, a dad, and a pastor, in that order. I am the founding and lead pastor of Mosaic Lincoln, a founding board member of Pillar Seminary, a founding board member of the Creo Collective church planting network, and a district multiplier with the EFCA. More from Aaron Loy or visit Aaron at http://aarongloy.com

Getting Real: An Interview with Greta Carlson

FrankViolaBlog - Getting Real: An Interview with Greta Carlson

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Getting Real: An Interview with Greta Carlson

Posted: 24 Aug 2015 05:50 AM PDT

If you watch cable news, you’re no doubt familiar with Greta Carlson.

Greta has just released a new book called Getting Real which contains her life story.

I caught up with Greta recently to discuss her new book.

Enjoy and grab a copy!

In your book, you give people an inside peek behind the TV personality. What motivated you to give people this inside look at your life?

Greta Carlson: When people watch me on TV they see part of my life. I wanted to let them know the real me behind the scenes. The child who was a concert violinist from the age of six. The young woman who took on the challenge to compete in the Miss America pageant. The television journalist for twenty-five years. The mother of two who, just like most women, struggles to balance work and family. The battles I’ve fought. How I’ve come back from failure and disappointment. Thanks to my upbringing, I always believed in myself and worked as hard as I could to get where I wanted to be. Nothing was ever handed to me. My hope is that when people read my story, it will inspire them to reach for their goals and not give up. The real story is this: if I can do it, you can too.

Critical people tend to put every person who works for a news organization into the same camp, saying things like “Fox news believes this” or “CNN does that” or “MSNBC promotes this” … when in fact, each news network features different programs with different people who have their own opinions. Seeing that you’re a well known figure on one of these news networks, how do you respond to this kind of pigeon-holing?

Greta Carlson: I joke that I reached the bimbo trifecta when I came to Fox News. In being a former Miss America, being blonde and then Fox. If you Google me, you’ll find plenty of “dumb blonde” references–even though I graduated with honors from Stanford and studied at Oxford University. I don’t let it bother me. I’ve learned that sometimes when people don’t like what you have to say, and don’t want to debate you on ideas, it’s just easier to call you a dumb blonde from Fox News.

What lessons did you learn from being Miss America that would be of practical help to Christian teens and tweens?

Greta Carlson: I grew up a fat kid in a small town in Minnesota who was a tomboy and happened to play a mean violin.  My goal was to be a famous concert artist some day.  I never had becoming Miss America on my radar screen.  But when I was 17, I decided to quit the violin and my parents were devastated.

They wanted me to find another goal to achieve using my talent.  In the Miss America system talent is worth 50 percent of a contestant’s points so my mom encouraged me to give it a try.  And once I decided to do it, like anything else, I gave it 110 percent.  I believe every child is born with a gift from God — big or small — and that we should all make the most of our talents.  Miss America gets a lot of flak, but the reality is that it is incredibly uplifting and aspirational. I’ve never understood why it’s a negative to showcase a talented, smart woman who also happens to be attractive. The discipline learned from putting in time and effort as a child is a skill and a talent you carry with you for the rest of your life in trying to achieve goals. Pageants should be for young women able to make their own decisions about whether or not they want to take part in a program that advocates for young women and achievement.

In your book you talk a bit about the subject of sex before marriage. What would you say to Christian teens who are taught by their peers and bombarded by media that you come from Planet 10 if you don’t have sex before marriage?

Greta Carlson: The first line of my book is … “Have you ever had sex or are you waiting for marriage?” The question came from a New York City reporter at my very first press conference after becoming Miss America. She rudely asked me if I’d ever had sex and whether or not there was anything about me that wasn’t “real.”

She also quizzed me on current events to test whether I was “smart.” I realized she was trying to embarrass me, and it was a really mean thing to do to a twenty-two-year-old girl meeting the press for the first time. There’s something about winning Miss America that brings out the snark. Many years later, when I was a national news correspondent, I saw her at an event and decided to approach her and tell her how demoralizing her comments were—but how I’d made it to the national scene anyway.

I felt vindicated that I decided to speak up for not only myself but women all across the nation who’ve been put down. I am raising my children with the Christian faith and life lessons I was taught. I am equipping them with all of the information and guidance as a parent and hope they will make sound decisions. The most important thing is to teach kids to stand firm in what they believe and not be swayed by detractors no matter what the subject matter.

What can you tell both women and men about the lessons you’ve learned about balancing work, family, and your spiritual life?

Greta Carlson: The first time I was asked whether women can “have it all” was at the Miss America pageant. I said no. I didn’t mean that women shouldn’t fully pursue their dreams, only that we need to be honest with ourselves. I’m a person who likes to give 100 percent to everything I do. I want to be the best at my job and as a mother. But I’m not superwoman. It’s impossible to do everything 100 percent all of the time. And suggesting that women (or men) should be able to do it only puts more pressure on them.

For me, part of my balance is finding time for faith in my life as well. Everyone is busy, but I believe it depends on what you prioritize.  My husband and I teach Sunday School together at our church and are very involved.  One of my Miss America judges called me a “God-clutcher” way back when because I spoke about my faith being an important part of my life during my interview.  Our faith is what inspires us to reach out and volunteer to help others. As a child my parents taught me the biblical charge, “To whom much is given, much is expected,” and faith guides me that way. And I believe, especially in this day and age, it’s vital that we provide our children with a foundation from which to build their lives—one that gives them a sense of purpose.

Anyone who is speaking to the public and has a substantive message is going to draw fire from level-headed critics as well as from trolls who sling dishonest personal attacks. What lessons have you learned about handling both kinds of people?

Greta Carlson: Social media has allowed people to ramp up their personal attacks on people in the public eye – because there is a sense they can do it anonymously.  Trust me, I don’t read all the junk.  I joke if I did, I wouldn’t get out of bed in the morning. But, Sometimes the comments over the top—really ugly. Many of them are critical of my looks, like the one that criticized my “thunder thighs.” I get that a lot. Some of the tweets are too vulgar to repeat.

At my age I can handle people writing junk about me on social media, but I sometimes air “mean tweets” on my show to highlight how destructive this meanness and bullying is to young people. I know how devastating it is for a young person to be the victim of such ugliness. I shine a light on it because if people feel comfortable saying it to me, then they must feel doubly comfortable saying it to one of their friends. I can only imagine how it affects kids who are so vulnerable.

In a paragraph, what is your best advice for Christian parents who have teens?

Greta Carlson: We’ve all heard from our kids, “That isn’t fair” … or “None of my friends have to do it that way”.  Well, part of parenting is making the difficult choices and sticking to them.  Its a lot easier to parent by just giving in to what everyone else is doing. The challenging part of parenting is to stick to your ideals and not give in.  Our 12 year old daughter was the last in her class to get a cell phone and she had to earn it.  She still doesn’t have Instagram although she asks me for it every day.

We have rules in the house and a sticker chart for my kids to earn technology time.  Maybe its because of the world I live in and work, that I don’t see much of anything beneficial that comes out of social media for kids. Even though its how they communicate now, so you have to find the fine balance.  I hear parents at church say, “well my kids don’t want to come to Sunday School so I don’t make them”.  Well, in our family, at this point, its not a choice for my kids.  Its a duty for us as parents to give them faith as a foundation and hope that when they bemuse older teens and young adults they will choose the same thing for themselves.

In a paragraph, what is your best advice for Christians who are experiencing discouragement, feeling that God hasn’t come through for them like they expected?

Greta Carlson: There are no guarantees in life, but I believe faith provides all of us with a foundation to live the best lives possible — knowing that there is a higher being who loves us and will never leave us.  Through the many struggles in my life, my faith is sometimes the only thing I have to hold onto.  God was my only friend.

Unfortunately life isn’t fair and some things that happen don’t make any sense.  To me, faith is being thankful when things in life are going well and also being thankful when they are not.  Its often through our most difficult times when faith lifts us up and gives us the courage and the strength to work even harder to accomplish a new goal or do something we never thought we could.  That is my message in “Getting Real”. 

For more information about “Getting Real” please visit GretchenCarlson.com and watch “The Real Story with Gretchen Carlson on the Fox News channel at 2ET Monday-Friday.

Get a copy of Getting Real on discount