Hi all,
Last
week I shared the scripture from Ephesians 3:14-17 that says we should
all be rooted and grounded in unconditional love, and if we are, we will
be able to understand the love of Christ which is beyond head
knowledge.
Jesus
said in Mark 4:17 those who are not rooted and grounded cannot stand
against the pressure of circumstances and people's opinions, but
'stumble' when these pressures come. In the parable itself Jesus
described the hearts of these people as consisting of small stones, in
the Greek 'petrodes' which paints a picture of a thin layer of soil over
the top of lots of little stones.
They
grow up letting others see the thin layer of soil while being fearful
in themselves, and fearful others may find out there little stones under
the surface that they don't know how to get rid of. Each small stone
therefore is an emotional issue or thought stronghold that formed when
the person experienced events that destroyed unconditional love in their
heart, preventing the 'plant' of the Word from taking root.
I
shared how Jesus said in John 8:44 that Satan stands alone, and when he
speaks a lie he does so by himself - he has no one to agree with him,
he is on the outside in the spiritual realm looking in. He speaks things
to people to see if any will agree with him, and if they do it opens
the door to him having access into their lives. When a person believes a
lie, coming into agreement with that lie, to them the lie has become
truth. This starts a person down the path toward unhealthy emotional and
mental health.
Stumbling in life
Rooting
in unconditional love destroys any possibility of a little stone
forming in a child's heart when it first tries to be formed. For
example, a boy throws a rock and breaks the neighbor's window, feeling
horrible and the thought comes to him from Satan that he is a bad
person.
The
parent responds to the lie with unconditional love, affirming the child
is not bad, that he is and always will be loved, but he did do
something wrong and must face the consequences. Any chance at agreement
with Satan's lie was destroyed by unconditional love, so any little
'stone' in the boy's heart never has a chance to form because he was
affirmed in unconditional love at every opportunity for correction.
The
Greek word in Mark 4:17 translated 'they stumble' or 'they take
offense', is "skandalizo" which means "to put a snare or stumbling block
in the way." This is NOT the Greek word for 'snare' (pagis), but the act of putting that snare directly in the path of someone so they may be trapped or tripped.
Jesus
said 'When affliction (pressure of circumstances) or persecution
(opinions of others) arises for the Word's sake, they are offended (have
a stumbling block placed in their path)." Mark 4:17
Clearly,
the stumbling block put directly in their path by Satan is to make that
person aware or remind them of their lack of rooting in unconditional
love, which causes them to fail, or seem unable to grow in the Lord and
as a human being in certain areas. They put up a facade of being solid -
letting people see that thin layer of soil - but they hide the many
little stones in their heart that prevent emotional roots from growing
deep.
Let us see how this works
Let
me go back to the boy I've been using as an example in this
series. When the pressure of his parent's divorce happened Satan was
able to speak a lie to him that it was his fault, and once the boy
agreed with that lie it became truth to him. When he believed it was his
fault that 'truth' to him was so hurtful, so destructive that he was
the reason his mom and dad divorced, that he built a fantasy world of
delusion and altered reality to shield himself from being the fault of
any more failures in life.
The
resulting emotional damage meant that an 'F' on a school paper was the
teacher's fault. "It was just a misunderstanding" would be the story,
because the truth would mean he was at fault which would reinforce the
pain of the divorce all over again, so he had to tell lies to keep from
experiencing emotional pain.
By
the time he was an adult the ramifications of telling a lie carried
harsher consequences. When he stole nearly $4000 from a restaurant he
worked at, "It was just a misunderstanding" failed and he served time in
prison as a result - still swearing he was framed, it was someone
else's fault. That lie can be traced directly back to believing the lie
of believing he was at fault for his parent's divorce.
To
admit the truth of being at fault for anything would bring the horror
(unconsciously) of the root 'truth' that he was to blame for his
parent's divorce all over again, and it was just too painful. It was
less painful to experience 4 years in prison swearing he was framed than
to admit the truth - such is the pain when not rooted and grounded in
unconditional love.
Another example
Let
us use the example of a young girl sexually molested. That violence
against her destroyed any rooting in unconditional love she had. She
marries because that is the normal thing to do, but she finds the love
of a man unfulfilling because she never resolved the hurt and shame felt
when she was abused.
She
marries a rather insensitive and at times callous man, and while she
loves him on one level, men have always hurt her while no woman ever
has. She begins to believe a lie that she needs to explore the love of
another woman to fulfill her which leads to divorce and a path of
greater confusion and dysfunction.
Or
This
same girl might believe another lie, that because she was sexually
abused by men, that was her gift, her one talent in life; sex. She might
therefore have sexual relations with many other boys and then men as
she grows up, looking for that one relationship that will fulfill her
deep desire to be loved unconditionally, mistakenly thinking having sex
with every guy will one day allow her to discover 'the one'.
Or
A
boy or girl might grow up in a home where the man hit the mom. This is
not unconditional love by any means, but the child grows up thinking
hitting and slapping your spouse is the expression of love. Therefore
when they enter into relationships they subconsciously provoke that
person to anger, trying to get them to explode in anger and hit them,
because down inside that's all they know about how 'love' is expressed.
Or
A
child grows up in a household that is too busy. The parents have their
careers, the kids are shuffled off to every sport and every school event
offered, every church function, and 'family time' around the dinner
table in the evenings is something seen only in old movies and old TV
shows.
A
child grows up without unconditional love, though the parents may feel
that love towards their children, but the child is actually trained that
love is expressed to the degree they are successful in whatever sport,
school, or church event they participate.
The
child lives a performance based love, feeling pressure to perform like a
trained seal at every music recital, ball game, or church function.
This child may grow up shallow and thinking love is performance based -
and their marriage(s) become all about what the spouse can do for them.
Or
that child may realize they weren't really loved unconditionally in
spite of what mom and dad said, because the child was wise enough to
know mom and dad's work was really what they loved first and foremost.
How many preachers, managers, executives, have interrupted dinner for a
work phone call, training the children that work/congregation/others are
more important than they and their family are?
All these examples
All
these and many more scenarios, countless other scenarios, demonstrate
the emotional and mental damage done when a person is not rooted and
grounded in unconditional love. We as human beings are created to walk
with God, to know things spiritually which are beyond head knowledge.
But when a person is not rooted and grounded in that unconditional love,
Satan stands at the ready to put a stumbling block directly in their
path - a simple little lie that lets in still larger lies that lets in
still larger ones.
Next
week; How to un-believe a lie, how fear moves in when unconditional
love is not present in the heart, and how to start emotional healing.
Until then, blessings!
John Fenn
cwowi.org and email me at cwowi@aol.com
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