Hi all,
Last week I shared a foundational understanding of the faith and what each person's responsibility is. These included:
#1 - Being aware we will stand before Christ individually to give account of ourselves to the Lord.
#2 - We each must walk out or 'prove' our faith while not becoming critical of others.
#3 - We are to seek peace, but not to the extent we become a door mat, nor bring ourselves to ruin while bettering others.
#4 - A person must recover themselves from strife, immaturity in general - no one can do it for them.
Self-deception - 3 examples
Self-deception is knowing the Word but not doing it. Knowing what is right but refusing to do it.
#1 -
For instance, the Word says if you don't work you don't eat. Not a
problem for most, but some would rather play spiritual giant than doing
the hard thing of getting a job and staying with the job even if they
don't feel like it. It is a lot more fun and boosts the ego to spend
hours in social media and talk of praying for people at the grocery
store. Meanwhile, they are running out of food and are behind in bills.
So
I ask: Do we break fellowship with the Christian who spiritualizes
everything just because they would rather appear busy doing spiritual
things more than working and being self-supporting?
#2
- The Word says not to forsake the gathering together of ourselves. So
what about your friend who you call every Sunday morning to get them out
of bed so they will go to church, knowing if you didn't call them they
would not go to church? Is there a point, or at what point, do you stop
playing Holy Spirit and break fellowship with them, letting them decide
if they want to go to church or not?
#3 -
The Word says to forgive as you stand praying. If you have 2 friends
who aren't speaking to each other because of some offense each took, how
long do you try to play matchmaker, running back and forth between them
trying to get them to forgive? Do you finally break fellowship with
both of them, throwing up your hands in disgust and sad you lost 2
friends?
What is our responsibility?
Each
of these 3 are examples of people who know to do the Word, but refuse
to do it. Is confronting the lazy overly spiritual friend about getting
and keeping a solid job, and then not fellowshipping with them until
they become self-supporting, the correct action?
What
about stepping back from calling the friend Sunday morning, or urging 2
friends to forgive one another, is that stepping back from trying to
help them grow up an act of breaking fellowship with them? And how do
you feel with your own grief and sadness over their decisions as you
watch them self-destruct?
Guilt trip
Can
you be secure enough in yourself to know you did all you could do - you
walked the extra mile but can't go another, turned the other cheek but
can't let them abuse you, gave what you could of yourself but can't
bring yourself to ruin or exhaustion? Can you be at peace with that?
The
reason I ask is that before we deal with 'big reasons' the Word gives
for breaking fellowship, if a person grew up being everyone's servant,
or with condemnation to feel they are never doing enough so therefore
they are not good enough, which means if someone goes to hell it is
their fault, or if they grew up religious rather than Christian, they
may think the Christian thing is to be a door mat, a punching bag, a
soft-spine non-confrontational bowl of jello.
Some
people are raised to think they are never right, can never assert
themselves, and they think that is what being a Christian is. So for
them the phrase 'breaking fellowship' means slip back into the darkness
without making a ripple in a friend's life, even though they can see a
person self-destruct before their eyes.
Where is the balance?
Go back to my 4 points from last week, listed at the start above. (Make these people aware of the following):
#1,
Do these people know they are accountable first and foremost to the
Lord for their lives? That they have a responsibility to Him because
they've been bought with a very great price, and He expects them to do
something with what He did for them? They are not their own, they were
bought with a price, so grow up.
#2,
Do they realize their faith is for them to walk out, and you can't be
their Jesus. He must be their Source, not you. Do they realize you have
bent over backwards for them, trying to get them to become
self-sustaining, get them to church, get them to forgive? They must walk
it out by themselves and Jesus.
#3,
Do they realize you have tried and tried to find peace for them? Do
they realize you have been a shoulder to cry on, a friend they could
pour their wounded emotions out on, an ally urging them to do what is
right?
#4,
And lastly, do they realize they must recover themselves out of their
situation? Does the hungry friend realize he is hungry now because 1
month ago when first laid off, he didn't get up the next morning and get
a job? Does the lazy friend realize he or she must decide for
themselves they want to fellowship and to worship God with other
believers in that gathering we call 'church'? Do the friends in strife
realize they must recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, that
you can't do it for them?
When
we step back and let a person grow up, that is a form of 'breaking
fellowship'. Understanding this lays the groundwork for the 'big
reason's for breaking fellowship the Word lists.
Jesus broke fellowship with people - or did He?
Did
you ever stop to realize the Lord did not chase after the Rich Young
Ruler who turned down Jesus' invitation to become a disciple? Why didn't
Jesus go after him? Why did He allow the fellowship with someone who
obviously knew Him, end? (Matthew 19:16-22)
In
Luke 9:57-62 a man wants to follow Jesus, but He tells him it is a life
of travel with no home base. Another said 'yes', but requested
permission to attend to his dead father. In that time a dead person was
placed in a tomb and mourned 7 days, then they were mourned a full 30
days. Then after 1 year with the body now decomposed, their bones were
collected and placed in an ossuary box and reburied.
Culture lesson detour
- The rabbi's of Jesus' time taught (incorrectly) the decaying flesh
was a means of atoning for one's sins, so the collection of their bones
and reburial was another time of mourning, but on the day after
interring the ossuary family was to rejoice, knowing (father) was now
fully atoned, the mourning process now ended.
Most
likely (my opinion) Jesus confronted this teaching because He responded
'Let the (spiritually) dead bury their dead.' It may have been
understood as something like 'You have already given your father a
proper burial, let the spiritually dead finish the process, for burying
his bones won't mean anything as he is already dead. I've called you to
preach Life, so be my disciple and tell the gospel of Life! (or
something to that effect)
Another
man wanted to follow Jesus but first wanted to say goodbye to family
members. Jesus didn't run after any of these people - He went about His
business.
Aside
from the little culture lesson, my point is that we never see Jesus
running after people to try to get them to meetings, nor offering
anything more than an invitation to become a disciple. Even in John
6:66-67 after He spoke a hard to understand parable about eating His
flesh and drinking His blood and many of His disciples left Him, He
merely asked the 12, 'Will you also leave me?' He never ran after
anyone.
And here is the proper perspective:
When breaking fellowship with a believer, it must be understood that
they have actually FIRST broken fellowship with the Lord in some area of
their life. They walked away from doing the Word. Therefore if we must
confront them or tell them they need to find another church or friend,
it is because they have first broken fellowship with the Lord in some
area(s) of their life.
To
say it another way, if you walk that extra mile with your friend, but
that is your limit by scripture, but they insist on staying in that sin,
it is they who have moved, not you. They first broke it off with the
Lord and then you by their refusal to be a doer of the Word. Any action
you must take to enforce their decision, is merely a response to their
sin, and therefore their fault and upon their heads before the Lord.
What
we'll see next week is that breaking fellowship with someone is an act
to preserve our own spiritual life, and/or the life of a body of
believers. Just as Jesus refusing to chase after the Rich Young Ruler
was also an act of preserving and protecting His own ministry and
purpose in life, so it is with us. The man was welcome to join Jesus,
but the Lord couldn't be distracted from His purpose in life. A good
lesson for us, and that's where we'll pick it up next week.
Blessings,
John Fenn
(NOTE: I will be out of the office September 4-19. I will return emails and calls after the 18th) www.SupernaturalHouseChurch.org or email me at cwowi@aol.com
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