People Make Me Smile :)

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Brooks

Referring to a used ground-soaked Melita paper coffee filter Roger put on a plate, the waiter asked, “It has expired???”
Referring to Roger’s ordering a bottle of COLD water, our friend observed, “I think for you this very cold water is maybe ok for an old man like yourself, but for me I much prefer to take mine warm.”
Picking us up at Kenyatta Airport (Nairobi), we told our taxi driver to take us to where we were staying in a certain area in Nairobi, and then we would be able to direct him to the guest house from there. Finally, amidst stops and starts in heavy traffic and arriving in that section of massive Nairobi, he pulled over, stopped and said, “OK, so I think it is from here that you will control me.”
Forgetting to take my travel fork out of my carry-on and setting off the security alarm, the very friendly security guy opened up my bag and was pawing through everything and putting it outside the bag…tins of salmon, packets of jerky, pouches of peanutbutter, rice cakes, protein powder, etc…he asked me, “Where is the fork in this big bag?” and then said, “Madame, why are you carrying a suitcase with all of this food. We have food even here in Uganda!”
We were out on a dirt side road walking somewhere and passed by a huge factory of some kind. There was an old dilapidated pickup parked outside the gate with two guys slinging what looked like ice-covered whole fishes into a huge mound in the bed of the truck. Just then an old woman happened to walk by, so I asked her what was going on. She then explained to me that the fish had been filleted for export and now the outer skin and head and tail in tact were being taken to the local marketplace. Emphatically, she told me, “Do not go buy your fish at that market because it is old; it was caught sometime ago and has been put on ice and is not good.” Repeating this admonition several times, she kept pointing to the fish saying, “Can you just hear the smell? You must never buy these things.”