Step Into the Awkward

InterVarsity Evangelist Beau Crosetto says following Jesus' command to be His witness requires us to get past social mores and work through the tension

Beau Crosetto

A few months ago after playing basketball with a group of guys, we stuck around after the game to shoot the breeze. Now, I don’t really know these guys at all. I just play with them at 6 a.m. at the local 24 Hour Fitness. But as the conversation kept moving forward, the topic of what we do started to come up.  I knew that when I told them what I did, things could get a little tense. So when I said that I was a Christian minister, I took it one step further. I actually interjected that I would love to talk with any of them if they ever have questions about God or Jesus.
Awkward silence. Crickets.
As I sat there in that nervous pause, something very usual happened. Most of the guys said, “Thanks but not that interested,” while a few said, “Oh, you’re a Christian? So am I!” But one guy approached me later and told me that he would like to talk sometime.
Like most of us, I always feel uncomfortable for a minute when it’s time to bring up Jesus. But also probably like you, I’ve definitely found that the awkwardness is always worth it. Who else is going to bring up Jesus at 6 a.m. on the basketball floor?
In evangelism, the awkwardness usually precedes breakthrough. For that one guy, my willingness to step into the awkward allowed a breakthrough toward a new conversation about Jesus.

Forward and Beyond the Tension

So how can we as church planters equip our church to move beyond the awkward and into the real spiritual conversations waiting to happen in the spaces we live and move? How can we begin to move people out of timidity into more bold evangelism?
First, we have to become more aware of why certain situations are awkward—and why we avoid them. If we’re going to talk to others about our faith, understanding specifically why things are awkward will be extremely helpful for further conversations about how to move beyond the tension and into breakthrough.
Social awkwardness results when universally accepted social rules are broken. The more rules that are broken, the more awkward encounters become. Teaching people to share their faith and move beyond the awkward requires us to repeatedly break three main social norms. And because people have to break these rules, most of them don’t get beyond surface conversations to share their faith and begin the discipleship process.
Below I’ve listed these three social norms to talk about with your launch team or in small groups.
Three social norms we have to break to share our faith:

1. Don’t make people feel uncomfortable. Our culture is becoming more and more conditioned to seek comfort and stay there. If something doesn’t feel good, why do it? These days, it’s not typical for us to “press through” situations that don’t feel good. It has become accepted and even normal to avoid them, get rid of them and do something different.
2. Don’t press people about what is true or real. In our culture, especially as it becomes more experience-based, telling someone that only one way is right or challenging people on what is true or real just isn’t tolerated. We live in a relativistic culture, where people are increasingly embracing the mantra “What is good for you is good for you, and what is good for me is good for me.”
3. Don’t talk to strangers. In Western culture, starting deeper conversations with people we don’t know it is not really socially acceptable. Obviously, this differs depending on where you live. But for the most part, it is a social rule that when we are in public and we don’t know someone, we keep to ourselves. These days, total strangers generally do not strike up conversations of any sort, much less spiritual ones, on a plane, train, bus, etc.

So any kind of social encounter that presses us to break one of these rules will create awkward tension. When we break all three rules—talk to a stranger, make someone feel uncomfortable, and press someone on what is true or real—then we are on our way to a tense moment.
Wanting to be socially acceptable makes it difficult to be a witness. But the reality of being a follower of Jesus is that He asks us to be His witnesses, and this command means breaking one or more of those social rules.
The Great Commission and the mandate to evangelize the world violate our social mores. “Go everywhere” as opposed to knowing your place; “make disciples” vs. mind your own business and just keep the conversation pleasant; and “teach them to obey My commands” vs. religious and behavioral liberty.
As you plant your church, inspire and equip people to step into the awkward and begin the disciple-making process now. Remind them that the awkwardness is always worth it!
This post is based on the newly released book Beyond Awkward, by Beau Crosetto. Go here to learn about the opportunity to receive several evangelism resources Crosetto is offering.