Jumat, 07 Agustus 2015

7 Skills Every Small Group Pastor Needs

7 Skills Every Small Group Pastor Needs

By Mark Howell
sevenWhat skills must every small group pastor have in their skill set? I’ve written about the 5 habits I’d look for if I was hiring a small group pastor.  This is really a different thing. There is a set of skills every small group pastor must have in their skill set.

7 Skills Every Small Group Pastor Needs

  • Relationship Builder: This is really not a position for monks or hermits. A small group pastor need not be a raging extrovert, but they do need to be a relationship builder (which may be true of both introverts and extroverts).  The task of building a thriving small group ministry cannot be done alone. It takes an army and a master relationship builder in the lead role is a powerful advantage.
  • Identifier of High Capacity Leaders: In order to build a thriving small group ministry you must have an effective coaching structure. Once you have more than 10 groups, caring for small group leaders will become increasingly difficult without engaging a growing band of high capacity leaders (who can each care for 5 to 10 small group leaders). Span of care issues keep many small group ministries from thriving. Identifying high capacity leaders is a full time job in a thriving small group ministry and can only rarely be delegated. See also, 6 Essential Characteristics of an Effective Small Group Coach.
  • Recruiter of High Capacity Leaders: It is not enough to be able to spot high capacity leaders; recruiting them is an essential skill. Skillful recruiting can be developed and there is an art to it. It is my conviction that high capacity leaders are always busy people, wear many hats and will only occasionally volunteer for your ministry. If you want to build an effective small group coaching structure, you must become a skillful recruiter. See also, How to Recruit a Small Group Coach: My Secret Formula.
  • Developer of Leaders: Although some leader development may be delegated, there is no avoiding the need for this skill. Because whatever you want to happen in the lives of the members of your groups must happen first in the lives of the leaders of your groups (and because this informs what you must do to and for (and with) your coaches), some of the most important leader development must be done by the small group pastor. Small group pastors without this skill will struggle to build an effective coaching structure. See also, The One Thing Every Small Group Pastor Must Do for Small Group Leaders and Equip Your Coaches to Develop and Disciple Small Group Leaders.
  • Strategic Thinker: You may have your doubts that this skill is essential, but I am convinced that the most effective small group pastors think strategically and in fact are students of the craft. Next steps for everyone and first steps for their friends that are easy, obvious and strategic isn’t a naturally occurring phenomenon. To the contrary, a crowded belong and become menu is the ministry equivalent of the second law of thermodynamics (In an isolated system, natural processes are spontaneous when they lead to an increase in disorder, or entropy).
  • Story Teller and Hero Maker: In many cases, the small group pastor has the greatest potential to know the best stories about life-change and be close enough to the action to identify the heroic actions of ordinary people. When the small group pastor is skilled at identifying great stories and making heroes and willing to pass those along to the senior pastor on a regular basis…you have the recipe for a powerful collaboration.  See also, 5 Keys to Starting New Groups. Lots of New Groups and 5 Things Every New Small Group Pastor Needs to Know on Day 1.
  • Behind the Scenes Producer: If the senior pastor must be the small group champion (and this is the case in all thriving small group ministries), the small group pastor must be a skilled behind the scenes producer. The role of a Hollywood movie producer might provide clarifying insight. “He shepherds the production from start to finish. In a typical arrangement, the producer develops an idea or script with a writer and secures the necessary rights. He often hires the director, supervises casting, and assembles a crew. Additionally, the producer oversees the budget and then coordinates the postproduction work—everything from editing, to commissioning music, to encouraging the film’s stars to plug the movie on talk shows.” The key? The producer plays a critical role but is almost entirely behind the scenes…until they accept the Oscar. See also, Your Senior Pastor as Small Group Champion Leads to a Church OF Groups.

Free Small Group Package: “The Power of Same”

Free Small Group Package: “The Power of Same”

Small Group - Same
Embracing the process of sameness to bring about the change we seek in our lives.

Free Small Group Package

Download this 5-week curriculum to share with your small group ministry.
This small group package includes:
  • eGroups Curriculum in PDF format
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John Fenn, Spiritual Dream, Part 3

Hi all,
The dream continued...we closed last week with:
 
"...So what do you think is the reason all these people suddenly have clarity about what is important to them, and to make them willing to become serious about their walk with Me?"
"As happens so often, it is a combination of things in the natural and things spiritual coming together that turn a person's heart towards me. The collapse will come when conservatives are in charge, and they will be blamed for the nation’s ills, though what will happen is actually the result of poor decisions made by many before them. Conservatives, Christians, and Jews will be blamed for standing in the way of progress; then will come to pass the words I told you in 2003:
 
‘Laws that are designed to protect my people will one day be used against them.’ US culture is about to change in ways many thought could never happen. Remember what I told you in 2005, that in 10 years you won’t recognize your country for what it has become, and truly that has come to pass. And remember the other things I told you, for they will continue to gain momentum.” (At the time the Father told me about the changes from 2005 to 2015, the Lord added information about the moral and spiritual state of our nation, which I've not shared, some of which have become self-evident to anyone watching the news.)  
 
“Remember when I told you the nation would face disasters natural, political, economic, and more, like a conspiracy of events and circumstances one after another, which will overwhelm the nation. Those days are soon coming, but those are days when many of those who know me and are walking in what I’ve been saying to them, and as I’ve said to you, will prosper and be lights in a dark world. They are the ones who will not be shaken, but will walk as giants in the land, for many will rise and be blessed in many areas during this time and become leaders to those around them. House church will become THE way of doing church in the US and much of the world, and one of the marked differences in Christians you’ll be able to discern, is those caught up in fear, and those who are walking circumspectly in peace.”
 
"You know history, that historically it has been persecution and economic hardship that have separated true disciples from those pretending, and so it will be in the days soon approaching, nearly all over the world, but with many pockets of peace and safe havens. What you are doing is one of those safe havens, defined not geographically, but spiritually, and receiving my favor and protection, for those who move with the Spirit will make their way forward in safety, though all around them there will be people unable to control what is happening to them. Times will be that people must have wisdom and revelation from the Father to make their way through life, to side-step obstacles and receive His provision."
 
"Priorities for many are about to shift from things 'out there' to what is truly important, and many will lose many of the things they've gathered to themselves of this world. Many will repent of their adultery with the world and return to Me, their first love, but it will take great hardship for many as their spiritual nakedness* is exposed."
 
(*See Revelation 3:17-18 especially, for the naked and lukewarm Laodecian church, which thought it was righteous in its lukewarm-ness because it was rich and had material possessions and said they had need of nothing; but He told them they were so blind they had no idea they were poor, blind, and naked.)
 
"The great error many are in even now is that they are looking for a single event that will define the moment, not realizing it is a process taking place over time with a few noticeable events as part of the process, and in fact these processes are already at work. Because they are looking for a single event many are missing the larger process at work. All things are connected, and even large events are connected to a larger whole. Do not become like those who run to and fro crying out for a single event to change the world, for the transformational process is already happening."
 
"There is a move among my people to return to the simplicity of the faith, but you know this well, and soon those who have been sitting on a fence, infatuated on the one hand with the trappings of the culture of church and world while on the other hand wanting to be with those who want the genuine faith, will have to decide."
 
Remember, the way I look at success and prosperity is different from the world and from much of church culture. I am meek and lowly of heart, and those who will, will come and learn of Me and become like Me. They will replace the idols of their heart with true faith, serving those in their midst who are in need, and growing in love towards others. What they consider 'blessed' and what I consider 'blessed' are often two very different things. There exists even now, a great gulf of divide between those who have My priorities in their hearts versus those who don't, and the gulf between the two will continue to widen. My priorities come naturally to those who walk with Me, and flow from the heart outward to others."
 
"Many of the churches that used to be considered 'cutting edge' are already going the way of the world, having lost their first love, and will therefore continue to fade into irrelevance. This is another point you will see happening very quickly in the coming months - my people coming out of many churches as they hunger for Me, and mark the difference between mere believers and true disciples. These are the days the lukewarm will become obvious to true disciples, and a great separation will happen, and indeed is already happening nearly all over the world."  
 
(Me adding now) When you hear prophecy or dreams and hear the Lord talk about a glorious, victorious people, He isn't talking about bank accounts and shallow life-as-usual. To Him, maturity and victory have to do with people becoming meek and lowly in heart, serving one another in love. To Him, the glorious and faithful church is one who values things and people as He does, and walks those values out in life.
 
Jesus said in Matthew 25:33-40 that at His return, the people He calls His sheep will have clothed the naked, fed the hungry, given drink to the thirsty, visited the sick and imprisoned and they were so caught up in serving others they didn't realize they were serving Him.
 
Those representative acts of love Jesus mentioned are intended as mere examples and not an all inclusive list. Do you do kind things for others, help others around their home or yard, find ways to do good? Acts 10:38 says Jesus 'went about doing good, and healing all who were oppressed of the devil'. The very first thing mentioned is that He went about doing good - is that what the body of Christ looks like now, or are many trying to look like the world?  
 
At this point we were high on a ridge in the trees looking down at the river, which was in a wide sweeping bend with a broad plain like an amphitheater sloping to the water, and thousands were now bathing. I looked at Him as He gazed out over the whole scene, and He was smiling. At that point I realized I had not heard the din of the city behind and below us during the whole time I was focused on the trees, river, people, and what He was saying. But when I broke my attention from that, suddenly the noise of the city became louder and seemed to vie for my attention.
 
With sudden revelation it all became clear - whatever happens in the world is incidental to what He is doing in the hearts and lives of people - and He wanted me to be as caught up in what He is doing as He is.
 
He turned to me and said, "Do not be shaken by what I've told you, for you have been prepared for these days, as I told you when you first came to know Me. Many, many who know Me also have that same revelation, that they have been reserved for these days, and they look eagerly for what is coming, knowing inside they have a part to play and are waiting for life to unfold before them. Many have asked Me, 'When is it my turn?', knowing their time was coming. And I say to you, those days are fast approaching, so be glad and rejoice, and also for all those whose love and priorities are with Me, for great days are ahead for my disciples."
 
He said some personal things to me and then I woke up.
 
New subject next week...yet related to all this...blessings,
    John Fenn
www.cwowi.org and email me at cwowi@aol.com
 
 
 
New CD/MP3 Series
 
Identifying and Understanding Your Energy Gifts, the 5-Fold, and How to Move in Them Part 2 completes the teaching on the energy gifts, and defines other gifts including the 5-fold in proper context - not what you've heard before. Going into the Old Testament which Paul quoted in his teaching on the 5-fold in Ephesians to gain cultural understanding, part 2 takes the teaching on a person's gifts out of the auditorium and into normal everyday life as intended. You'll have a more complete understanding of who you are in Christ and confidence He is living through you in everyday life, ordering your steps daily!  (2 cd/MP3, $12/set or MP3 $10)

Free Video Download: "Margin" Small Group Study

Free Video Download: "Margin" Small Group Study

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"Sometimes it seems like the only way to keep up with all the demands on our lives is to run past maximum capacity. But there is another way."

Free Video Download

Download and share this three-week video curriculum with your small group ministry.
From LifeChurch, “Come explore what it means to live with Margin in this three-part small group video study where you will learn how to schedule margin into your life and how you can live with financial and moral margin. This series features teaching from Craig Groeschel as well as stories from everyday people who are successfully living with margin in their lives.”

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Engage Conflict in Small Groups

Engage Conflict in Small Groups

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A look at the deeper issues underlying personality clashes
Note: This article has been excerpted from the SmallGroups.com training tool called Handling Conflict in Small Groups.
Sooner or later, every small group will experience conflict. In some groups, conflict will become evident from the first meeting. In others, great pain is taken to avoid conflict. The members maneuver around it and make it clear “we don’t do conflict here.” But the ways we behave in a small group reflect how we will behave outside of it, and handling conflict well in our group can lead to better ways of dealing with the uncomfortable issues people face every day.

A Case Study

Mary and Jim are group members. Mary sees herself as a “truth-speaker.” She is perceptive and reads people like a map. She is always aware of the “temperature” of her small group. She listens to what is said and has an ability to hear what isn’t being said—and she is more curious about the latter. Her greatest desire is for authenticity and honesty.
Everybody sees Jim as a “grace-giver.” He is trusting and takes people at face value. He values peace, and patience is one of his greatest virtues. He is affirming and very sensitive to the shame in others. His overriding desire for the group is that it feels safe, loving and supportive.
Mary and Jim, to one degree or another, are in every group. Every group needs what they offer. But before Mary and Jim can offer what is best in them, they will have to face the inevitable conflict their styles of relating will create.
Behind every conflict is a story that goes far deeper than the presenting clash. Jim grew up in a home with a dominating, angry mother. His father would work hard all day and come home to a wife who would dump her frustrations on him. Jim felt sorry for his father and felt contempt for his mother. She was not the virtuous “Proverbs 31″ woman he heard about in church. But his father never complained. He was “long-suffering.” Jim sometimes wished his father would step up and confront his mother, but he felt pretty sure his father would lose that battle.
Mary grew up in a home that had lots of secrets. No one talked about dad’s alcoholism. No one dared ruffle dad’s feathers when he came home, even though the tension was so thick, you could cut it with a knife. When Mary was sexually abused by her father, and later by her brother, her mother had a lock installed on Mary’s door but never talked about what happened. Mary sat behind her locked door angrier with her mother than with her abusers. Secrets and silence became the enemies Mary vowed to fight.
Now, Mary and Jim find themselves in the same small group. It doesn’t take long for a perceptive Mary to pigeonhole Jim as a weak wimp who is more comfortable with the appearance of harmony than the guts to be honest. And, hard as it is for Jim to admit, Mary’s pursuit of people feels dangerous and makes him want to avoid her at all costs.
In group, Mary is frustrated every time Jim seems to dismiss someone’s struggles with a verse from the Bible and an offer to pray. Conversely, Jim feels Mary plows right into areas of shame with little sensitivity. Sometimes it seems Mary’s outrage over injustice is stronger than anyone else’s. Jim feels he must counter her impact by soothing the group.
Unless this conflict is addressed, it will further propagate the dysfunction both Jim and Mary felt in their families growing up. The group will not be strong enough to bear “truth-speaking,” and it will feel its “grace-giving” is patronizing. The safe, loving, honest and authentic community will be lost.

A New Perspective

Conflict should not be viewed as a problem that threatens to destroy your group but as an opportunity to grow the group. It is the unacknowledged and unaddressed conflict that is dangerous. Conflict that is entered into and resolved leads to deeper intimacy, whether in a group, in a marriage, between any two individuals or with God.
As you think about addressing a conflict, ask yourself how to engage the issue while still valuing the opinions, observations and feelings of each member. Remember also that, because the enemy of our souls delights in continued division, engaging in conflict resolution is warfare against him. So prayer is a crucial weapon. Ask for receptive hearts, listening ears and a resolve to strengthen the unity of the group by honestly facing the issues at hand.
Depending on the severity of the conflict and who is involved, you may need an outside person to facilitate a resolution. If so, you will want to make that person’s role clear—to facilitate and mediate the resolution process, not to resolve the conflict themselves.

A Practical Method

So how does a group enter into conflict resolution for the good of its members? Here are a few simple steps to work through:
  1. The group leader should define the conflict as he/she recalls it. “Our conflict is about the differences between Jim’s way and Mary’s way of engaging the group and the tension we and they are experiencing as a result.”
  2. Ask the group members if the conflict has been defined correctly as they recall it. Go around the circle and give each person an opportunity to respond. Some will have something to say; others may simply nod their heads in agreement.
  3. Ask, “How has this conflict felt to you?” Or, “What has been stirred up in you as the conflict has become evident?” The purpose here is to give each group member an opportunity to acknowledge and express their feelings. There is no right or wrong answer here. Silence or withholding does not support the conflict resolution process, so encourage everyone to speak.
  4. Invite group members to ask questions of any other group member for clarity. Be careful to make sure one person does not dominate this time so the process begins to lose momentum for the others.
  5. Ask each person: “What were you hoping would happen in this meeting?” “What did you want for yourself?” “What did you want for Jim, Mary or the group?”
  6. Ask each person what needs to happen for them to feel this is a safe and healthy group again. What a member may express may not necessarily be something the group can guarantee (e.g., the conflict will never happen again). The leader’s role is to make sure all have been heard and to stay engaged in the process for the sake of the group. Allowing the process to stall or wander will make the group feel unsafe and lose trust.
  7. Ask each person, “Can you recommit to this group?” If someone says “no,” go back to points 3 and 4 and try again. Typically, a group will want to get going again and not remain stalled.
This process relies on the integrity of the group to call one another out. At its best, it is a way for the body of Christ to minister to each other. Here are some questions for a leader to keep in mind during this process:
  • Did the people in the conflict hear one another accurately? It is often helpful to ask Jim what he heard Mary say. Then ask Mary, “Did Jim hear you accurately?” Reverse the process, asking Mary what she heard Jim say. Many conflicts escalate due to faulty perceptions as communication passes through each participant’s emotional filter.
  • Did each person take ownership of what they perceived to be his or her part in the conflict? If your group is at a stage where you can go deeper, these discipleship questions can lead to real change: 1) Is this a pattern in my life? 2) How does this pattern in my life affect those in relationship with me? 3) How do I feel about the way I impact others? 4) Of whom or what does this situation remind me?
  • Has any group boundary been broken? If so, is this something (or is there something else) we need to need to talk about now or later?
When you notice a conflict is occurring, be ready to pull out this list and walk through it. Believe me, your group will be grateful for you and your courage. Many of your group members live daily with chaos and conflict that never gets resolved, so your willingness to enter into conflict resolution is a real gift to them!
Mark Bonham; copyright © 2008 by the author and Christianity Today International.  

Study Explores the Importance of Small Groups

Study Explores the Importance of Small Groups

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A Baylor University study shows it's not the presence of small groups in a church that matters–it's the commitment level of their members.
The Associated Baptist Press reported on a new Baylor University study that evaluates the impact of small group ministry on the overall health and success of a church. Not surprisingly, the study found small group ministry to be valuable for connecting members to the church and to one another, but researchers warned that having a small group ministry in itself does not guarantee church success. Kevin Dougherty, sociology professor and lead researcher on the project, said in order to have lasting value to a church, small groups must meet with regularity, promote a sense of trust and open discussion, and provide support during the difficult moments in members’ lives. In fact, says Dougherty, small groups increase the commitment level of their members, and “highly committed members” contribute to the overall strength and veracity of a church, regardless of the church’s size. “Any type of small group will benefit a church, whether it’s a Sunday School, a service group, or a basketball league, because of the belonging and commitment they foster,” added Dougherty. “But small Bible study and prayer groups are better at promoting discipleship and spiritual growth.” The study also affirmed that members of small groups are more likely to tithe, attend worship services regularly, and volunteer in service ministries. The study results were published in the March issue of Sociology of Religion.  

Kamis, 06 Agustus 2015

How To Get Men to Join Small Groups

How To Get Men to Join Small Groups

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Andy Lie offers suggestions from his successful experience starting, renewing and maintaining men’s small groups.
“Dude … want to get some coffee?”
Those six words and a core group of three men were enough to start our Thursday morning men’s small group. But before I show how, allow me to turn the clock back to early 2007.
At that time, the interim pastor of my church of 40 was also serving as the senior pastor of another small congregation of 20. Rather quickly, the leadership of the two churches decided to join together as one. So the men’s ministry was the first to be combined, meeting monthly on Saturdays for breakfast and Bible study. This continued through the launch of the new church.
But as weekly attendance for our Sunday service had grown to about 80 or 90 people, attendance at these monthly men’s breakfasts slowly declined and whatever momentum we’d carried from the launch of the new church had dissipated.
So the typical pre-Saturday men’s group conversation usually went like this between me and another leader:
“Hey Andy … can you lead the men’s Bible study this month?”
“Sure. When is it?”
“Tomorrow.”
“Who’s cooking?”
“Let’s see … I am, but Phil’s working, Jason hasn’t responded to any emails all week and Ricky said he’d bring the OJ. I’m handling the eggs and bacon … can you do the pancakes?”
Poor Organization & Leadership
Sound familiar? The ministry had become an albatross that wasn’t being led effectively, with organization handled at the last minute. Add to that the declining attendance, the lack of fellowship among the men and it was clear the men’s ministry needed a change-up.
In January 2009, a group of us met for breakfast at a local Denny’s to discuss how we could restart the men’s ministry. It was clear meeting monthly was not conducive to creating a genuine sense of fellowship among the men—and for many of them that was all they wanted. Many were not ready to go deeper.
But what was the best approach? The five of us there that day were discussing various ideas when suddenly one blurted out we should meet at Denny’s every Saturday for breakfast, keep it simple and come as you are when you can. And that it would be a chance to get to know one another.
From Weekly Breakfast to Weekly Small Group
The following week, we kicked off our first men’s breakfast at Denny’s. Nine men showed up. The week after there were eight, but different men had come. Men who were new to the church found the weekly breakfasts to be a non-threatening way to connect with other men without having to feel the pressure to attend each week. Friendships began to form. We even paid for other customers’ breakfasts on occasion.
From connections that started during the Saturday breakfast, three of us decided to meet regularly for coffee. We then developed a Thursday morning small group at Starbucks. We started meeting regularly for accountability, to discuss our faith journey, discuss the prior week’s sermon and to share any Scripture or books we’d read.
After a few weeks, God clearly spoke to our hearts about the need to extend this discussion time to more men—to make it a sermon-based group, discussing the prior week’s message. The three of us knew it had to be done, despite the fact that selfishly, we didn’t want to ruin the good thing we had going.
Our three-man group was positioned to invite men who were attending on Sundays who hadn’t made it to Saturday breakfasts. We began to personally invite men to join us on Thursday mornings for coffee.
Officially Doubling in Size
We doubled in size the first time we met as an “official” men’s small group. We had instant transparency that first week, with the newer guys sharing some of the challenges in their lives in response to the questions posed by the prior week’s message. Each week since, we have had no less than five attend, with typically seven attending most weeks. We range in age from mid-20s to mid-60s. We come with Bible in hand, sermon notes in the other, a good cup of coffee in front of us (although one prefers his tea), ready to challenge each other and listen to the voice of God speaking through each other.
We see this as a win, considering when the seven of us get together on Thursday mornings, that comprises about 20 percent to 25 percent of the men who have attended our church on a regular basis in recent months. It means there is more work yet ahead of us to connect the other 75 percent, but as we go deeper in Christ together, we will also develop leaders from our group who will be enabled to start additional men’s small groups.
So what were the key steps for us?
1) A Willingness to Restart – with Prayer: When we saw the ministry begin to drift as men were unable to effectively connect with each other, we knew we had to do a complete restart of the ministry. However, we didn’t know how to do that—but we did know how to pray. We asked God for His ideas on how to best restart. The weekly breakfasts at Denny’s were, for us, that God-sized idea that restarted the entire ministry.
2) Creating a Place for Connection: We want our men to grow deeper in their walk in Christ with other men, but that wasn’t going to happen unless they connected. Saturday mornings at Denny’s has become that place of connection, with all ages of men connecting each week. As these relationships grow, we believe additional men’s small groups will form. We expect some to be led by those currently attending on Thursday mornings.
3) Creating a Safe Place for Sharing: The men who come on Thursday mornings know what is shared around the table stays around the table, especially as we’ve discussed our professional and personal lives, our families and our marriages within the context of the prior week’s sermon. Each man who’s come has said it’s a lot easier to discuss these issues with other men than in a mixed-gender small group setting.
4) Creating a Culture of Invitation: The Thursday morning small group exists because personal invitations were extended to the participants. Announcements and bulletin notices are fine for getting the word out, but personal invitations are far more effective. We make a point to invite men every week to join us on Thursdays.
5) Creating a Culture of Service: Men want to serve alongside their brothers. We are developing a culture of service in our group’s DNA—whether it is assisting another ministry (like assisting this year’s children’s Easter egg hunt) or handing out $5 Starbucks coffee gift cards to unsuspecting customers. There is a sense of excitement as we plan out ways to serve our community—both within the church and outside it.
So what’s next?
It begins with one simple question.
“Dude … want to get some coffee?”  
Andy Lie is a volunteer leader at New Life Christian Fellowship in Pacifica, Calif., serving as church treasurer as well as leading a weekly men’s small group. He has a passion for seeing men grow in faith in Christ, encouraging them to become Ephesians 5 husbands who love their wives sacrificially. (This article was used with permission from SmallGroupTrader.com.) More from Andy Lie or visit Andy at http://www.newlifepacifica.org/ministry1.php