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Many
people struggle with a negative mind set towards themselves and towards
life, yet don't know how to achieve a final life-changing breakthrough.
In the first part of this 2-part series, John shares his own experience
on overcoming a negative self image and ‘my life counts for nothing’
thinking. You will understand the process of changing your thoughts and
how His life in your spirit flows out into your soul and emotions. This
series will provide insights and direction into breaking the momentum of
the past and building a momentum towards life. (2 cd/MP3, $12/set or MP3 $10)
You
may manage your subscription (change email, un-subscribe, etc) by
clicking the link at the bottom of this page. And remember to use cwowi@aol.com to email me personally.
Hi all,
The
Lord has graced Barb and I by timing our lives to just brush against or
lightly be involved with numerous ministries just before they got
off-balance or fell apart completely. To stay with my aquarium analogy,
we've swum in many aquariums but moved to other aquariums just before
the water started to stink.
Taking the best away
We
were with and then gone from the PTL Club in Charlotte a few years
before financial and moral failures caused its collapse. We were at and
gone from Rhema a few years before others caused it to become
name-it-claim-it and the prosperity gospel. I worked with and was gone
from Global Harvest and New Life Church before various doctrinal
error and moral failures occurred.
All
this experience I post on our web site, and some believers when reading
my ministry experience automatically label me or assume they know what I
am all about, or refuse to read or listen to me because of these
preconceived ideas. Sometimes I feel like asking them how they'd like me
judging them based on whatever job they held in 1980, but I realize
they are wounded and immature and just laying someone else's sins at my
feet.
But
the fact is, Barb and I were grounded in the faith in home based
'prayer meetings' when we were teenagers, and no matter what 'aquarium'
of the faith we landed in next, we always longed for the open ocean
experiences of swimming in the Spirit those home meetings provided. We
knew we didn't fit into any 'aquarium of faith' we experienced, we just
hadn't realized why - yet.
Plastic or real?
If you're a fish used to swimming in the open ocean, how do you describe those wonders to a fish who has only known an aquarium?
To
a fish who has only known a plastic coral reef, how do you describe the
real one? An ocean going fish has seen animals an aquarium hasn't ever
seen, like an octopus for instance. How do you describe an 8 armed
boneless animal that shoots black ink when scared, to a fish who has
never seen one?
You
would use words they were familiar with - eight, arms, black, ink - but
those familiar words describe something they've never seen nor
experienced, so the image in the mind formed is very different than the
animal you are trying to describe.
The mind tries to wrap itself around the words but cannot for there is nothing to compare it to in their life experience.
That's what I'm saying
When
we would land in yet another aquarium and talk to leaders about the
'open ocean' freedoms of the Spirit we had experienced as teenagers and
that we longed for in their aquarium - they didn't understand us.
We tried
to describe what we were looking for using familiar words and phrases -
letting God set the agenda, worship as long as we wanted,
accountability through the strengths of relationships, leadership giving
away their leadership to empower people - but they looked at us like we
were from another planet. We were at an impasse because we used the
same words, but I was describing the ocean and they were describing
their aquarium.
So about that ocean...
Everyone I
talked to only knew the temple and temple terminology and had only
heard scary things about the open ocean. Things like cult, and danger,
and off-balance, and accountability with a huge question mark.
They
spoke of people swimming in the open ocean of house church in early
days because of persecution, with one sweeping statement providing
themselves an excuse to ignore the fact the New Testament was written by
apostles doing house church to disciples doing house church, and that
Word they claim is the final authority in their lives they've understood
completely out of context all their born-again life!
Square peg, round hole
And so through the years I've always felt disconnected. I was keenly aware of Christ in me, so I couldn't yell and scream to bring Him down or get His attention with that crowd. I knew the blood of Jesus
was once poured out as a ransom for many and that was the only use of
it spoken of in scripture, so I couldn't go with the drawing a blood
line in the sand people. Jesus said to simply command demons to leave in His name,
which I have done many times and had seen it work, so I couldn't relate
to the crowd that went through the formulas for deliverance.
I
know Christ is in me so I don't need to pray for an open heaven, so I
didn't relate to that crowd. I saw in Acts they changed cities by
winning people to the Lord from home based meetings, not by trying to
call down demonic spirits, so I couldn't relate to that crowd.
I
could read in the scripture the highest and best revelation was a
person learning how to hear His voice and I was willing to pay the price
to walk with Him, so I couldn't relate to the people who sought a short
cut by getting a prophecy from someone - as a cure all for life's
problems instead of paying the price to seek Him themselves with all
their heart until they got their answer directly from Him.
I read
I was not to love this world nor the things in it, so I couldn't relate
to people believing God just for more things. I read how the apostles
did not manipulate people for their money nor live above the people they
ministered to, so I couldn't relate to those who thought God's stamp
of approval is to live like royalty.
So I've been a fish from the open ocean placed in aquariums all my life. No wonder I never fit in.
Trying yet again to describe an octopus
So
it was I told a Bible school leader he should not be teaching his
students to yell and scream out to God at the top of their lungs each
chapel service, but rather focus on Christ Who already lives in them,
and teach them to hear and walk with Him - but he thought I was talking
about another aquarium and therefore couldn't understand me.
I
used words like 'Christ in us' and from Romans 5:1-5 that we have peace
with God so we don't have to scream and yell to get His attention, and
while he mentally agreed, he had no idea what walking with our Father
and Lord in that way looked like. He had nothing to compare my words to
in his life, because he had always been a formula-based Christian. His
style brought in students which meant money which meant a bigger and
more influential ministry, and it was in fashion to yell and scream to
get God's attention.
Ruined
And
so it is when someone asks about what house church does about 'the
5-fold ministries' I tell them the original context of 'the 5-fold' is
in the home, and it works amazingly well in the home - humbly, in day to
day walk through life manifestations of God's gifts. They haven't seen
that aquarium, for in their aquarium the 5-fold are royalty heard only
rarely in the auditorium, and are elevated almost like a rock star.
When
they ask about accountability and I describe accountability in house
church is through the strength of relationships, and that Jesus'
teaching is our guide - if you know your brother has something against
you (or you him), go to him and heal the relationship. They can't relate
because in their aquarium accountability is measured by attendance,
giving, and volunteerism.
They
have never seen an aquarium like what I describe. Then if they dig a
little more, they discover it isn't an aquarium after all; it is the
open ocean they've longed for all their lives, but have been afraid to
enter for fear of hurt, deception, and eternal failure or damnation.
I
use the same words they know - gifts of the Spirit, leading,
revelation, teaching, discussion, community, extended family of
faith, being intentional in your relationships - but they have never
heard those words used in that way before, so they have no idea what I'm
talking about.
You
can only read about house church so much, you can only hear about the
open ocean so much, but your mind won't be able to wrap itself around
it. You have to experience it and THEN all the puzzle pieces make sense.
It isn't so much what's taught, it's what's caught.
More next week...blessings,
John Fenn
Remember to use cwowi@aol.com for email to me
And
then there is the second thing. When I get my eyes off of myself and my
poor bottom, I gaze out the window with a little more attention. I see
women hauling firewood for miles, a daily chore. I see a six-year-old
carrying her sibling, not much smaller than herself, on her back as they
trek along behind their mother in the hot sun. I see other children
playing, seemingly happy, but their hair is tinged with red because they
have not had adequate nutrition. I see men working in fields trying to
support their children who are wearing nothing but a torn shirt. I see
hard working, persistent people living with hardship far greater than I
could ever imagine. I am humbled, to say the least.
Bahizi
was horrified as he saw the images of fire on TV that was destroying
the downtown marketplace in his own city of Bujumbura. The fire
destroyed thousands of businesses and left scores of families penniless.
Befriending
several of the women who had lost everything, Bahizi and Lillian
reached out to them and offered to help them start again with a loan
from their own pockets. Amazed, these women began to open their hearts
to the Gospel that they saw displayed in the compassion they saw in
Bahizi and Lillian.
