Hi all,
When
I was growing up we had an aquarium full of tropical fish. My mom knew
what species each one was, and I remember looking in reference books
where they originally came from - their origins sounded exotic and I
wondered about their home waters.
At
another time we had 'sea monkeys' - a product of the 1960's and early
'70's that was very popular for a time. I think sea monkeys were brine
shrimp that hatched once placed in water, but whoever marketed them as
'sea monkeys' must have made a fortune because nearly every house with
kids bought some at one time or another. Later mom would have a salt
water tank and had several sea horses and other sea life.
And then...
My first snorkeling experience was at a gravel pit turned public swim area called France Park. Everyone
called France Park 'The cliffs', because the big challenge was to climb
over the fence boundary and jump off the cliffs which ranged from a few
feet to near 100. While snorkeling there I saw fish for the first time
in their natural environment, and I was amazed and felt sorry for the
ones in our little tank at home.
Then
I went snorkeling in the Florida Keys among coral reefs when I was
about 17 and saw cousins of those aquarium fish in the wild. WOW! The
colors and their interactions with each other in their natural
environment was hugely impacting to me - the life those fish
led compared to the fish in our tank was very different though each swam
in water, found food, and went about life. Over the years I've
snorkeled again in the Keys, the US Virgin Islands, and Hawaii, and each
time I come away amazed at the Lord's imagination and creativity - and a
touch of sorrow for all aquarium fish everywhere.
The church aquarium
Last
week I shared my spiritual upbringing in the Episcopal church on Sunday
mornings, as well as my involvement in Saturday night prayer meetings
attended by other suddenly Spirit-filled Episcopalians, Catholics,
Baptists and Methodists in the 'charismatic renewal' time of the 1970's.
To
me, the Episcopal church was the little aquarium tank at home and my
Saturday night prayer meeting was like the open ocean. I wondered if
the fish trapped inside wondered what life could be like in a world not
needing all that life support equipment. What if they could swim in a
place where no water pump or filter was needed? What if they didn't need
a bubble blower to put air into the water? What if they didn't need The
Giant Hand to drop flakes of food to them each morning? What if there
was no liturgy, no schedule, no altar or even building called 'church'?
Love God, but...
Some,
like my mom, loved the history, ritual, and predictability of the
Episcopal church. Routine meant safe, and she wouldn't dream of going
outside that 'aquarium'. She loved the Lord, but remained a smoking,
drinking, tongue talking Episcopalian the rest of her life. I inherited
her Bibles when she died, and found she wrote in the margins of her
Bibles just like I do - and her notes were deep thoughts and
revelation - much to my surprise. But she loved that fish tank called
St. Andrew's Episcopal church. Good for her and for any who feel the
Lord has them in a traditional church as my mom did. I find no fault.
Her traditional church affirmed her
in those ways. After the divorce she needed the routine of each Sunday,
the stability, the history and feeling she was part of something old in
which each ritual was a reflection of some deeper spiritual truth. But
swimming in the spiritual open ocean affirms a person in a different way.
Not in ritual and routine, choirs and music, but in freedom to go where
God wants to go in a meeting, to participate, to be connected to
people. And so for me, I kept thinking about those fish...
What
if they could swim free among the coral reefs? Yes, I'd been ruined, I
had not only seen what it was like outside the spiritual tank, I had
swum in the open ocean!
All
that I've said thus far, has come after years of reflection and life
experience. At the time, I just kept my thoughts to myself out of
respect for my mom, but my thoughts were amazingly close to that of a TV
character in the popular (US) sitcom, The Big Bang Theory. The
character named Amy says to her friend Sheldon: "I don't object to the
concept of a deity, but I'm baffled by the notion of one that takes
attendance." To which Sheldon replies; "Then you might want to avoid
east Texas." LOL
Just straight talk
I
had similar thoughts, boiled down to 'Does Jesus really need all the
trappings of church for us to be able to worship and fellowship with
Him?, but I didn't utter them. I did become determined not to be caught
up in the things man-made, for though they were at one time intended to
lead people to God, they had to me become obstacles and even walls
erected that prevented me from knowing Him any other way than the
priest, pastor, or teacher wanted me to know Him.
But, we accept the reality of the world which we are presented.
We may wonder if the building and order and hype was invented by God as
a means to allow us to approach Him or not, but we sit on those
thoughts for years. We accept this is the way it is, wonder briefly in
our deepest yearnings, 'What if?', and then return to the same routine,
growing ever more restless over time.
Like I said, I never fit in - those are 'rebellious' thoughts
In
1978 I went to work for Jim and Tammy Bakker's PTL Club (TV
ministry) in and around Charlotte, North Carolina. I was a Park Ranger
at the Heritage USA site under development. Park Ranger sounds so
official. But in a rapidly growing ministry that was pressured to open
Heritage USA the summer of 1978, it meant I landscaped, showed little
old ladies where the porta-potties were, and played host and guide.
It
was the first year Barb and I were married, and it was a good
experience, but once again, we didn't fit in. While the TV shows
revolved around classic southern gospel singing and guests who would
excite the audience, and Jesus was glorified, it was also big business.
I
wondered, 'If we took away the TV cameras, the lights, the idolizing of
the 'stars' that appeared on the show, could Jesus be seen in all
this?' Our first year of marriage at the PTL Club was rough financially,
rich spiritually, and rich as a young married couple in their 1st year
together. We learned, we gleaned, we observed and made mental notes
about ministry and life during that time. We learned how not to do
ministry, but held to that which was good.
Rhema
Then
in August of 1978, just 4 months into my work at PTL Club, the Father
told me He wanted me to go to Rhema the next year. I had barely heard of
Rhema, didn't know anything about it other than it was a Bible school
in Tulsa, and so rose from prayer and called my mom.
She
just happened to be having lunch with a friend right then, who upon
hearing the news that the Father told me to go to Rhema in a year, said
this: "In March the Lord told me, 'I'm going to send John to Rhema in
about a year and a half, and I want you to pay his tuition.'' She was so
excited I had called at the exact moment mom and her just happened to
be having lunch. I was amazed at her response. She said, 'Send me a
letter of acceptance and I'll write a check.' I did and she did, so in
summer of 1979 we drove from North Carolina to Tulsa, not knowing what
awaited us.
Rhema
was a whole new world, and very exciting in 1979. I learned the
integrity of God's Word - this was in the days before disciples of
Kenneth Hagin twisted the Word to their own greed and lusts. It wasn't
yet twisted into 'name it claim it' or 'prosperity gospel' - I learned
God's Word was the final authority, and the Word and Spirit always
agree. I learned to dig into the Word myself and to hear His voice as I
studied and thought on the Word and ways of the Father.
But
it was what I would call, 'professional' Christianity, in Tulsa, the
belt buckle of the Bible belt. I was in another aquarium. I wondered
what had happened to those Saturday night prayer meetings and the people
who went there? I wondered where were my friends from those wonderful
Thursday night teen prayer and praise meetings we went to, or the Sunday
night meetings where we teens often rotated homes and experienced such
moves of the Spirit?
Did
we just jump from one aquarium with a certain type of fish into another
aquarium with another type of fish? But with work and a new baby and
school, the year went by quickly and it was soon time to move to where
the Father told Barb and I when we were in college we'd be; Boulder,
Colorado. That was May of 1980.
I'm jumping ahead a bit
I
don't intend to take you down my Memory Lane in this series, but I do
intend to get you thinking about what you truly long for, and why. You
see, for centuries the Jews had worshipped in Jerusalem in a temple, and
that's where God's presence was.
It
really began back in Exodus 19 when the Lord came down on the mountain
and gave His Word to Moses. He went from the mountain to the wilderness
tabernacle He had instructed Moses to make. Some 400 years later David
knew Him as the 'God who lives between the cherubs' over the Ark of the
Covenant. Solomon built the first temple, and though destroyed and then
rebuilt in part or completely through the years, the Temple is where
God's presence was for centuries. That was their aquarium. That's all
they knew.
But
then came something that had never been seen before. At Pentecost God
moved out of the temple and into human beings. He had confined Himself
more or less to the aquarium of the Temple for centuries, but His real
goal was to move out of that aquarium and into the open ocean of
humanity. His goal was to move into living temples spread all over the
earth, thus filling the earth with His glory, Word, and ways.
That
is why there is something inside each Christian that rebels a bit at
the aquarium and wonders 'Is there more?' We ask this because God moved
out of the temple (aquarium) 2,000 years ago and into mankind. We are
ocean going fish, not designed for the aquarium. And that's where I'll
pick it up next week.
Blessings,
John Fenn
Remember to use cwowi@aol.com for personal email
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